It is another Sacramental Year for us! Web-princess has been quietly preparing to receive her first Communion at the end of March (The actually date escapes me now but I know it's the LAST Saturday of March).
I say quietly because I haven't blog much about it! I've lately have blogged about Superstar's ITW and his recovery, field trips, and Web-princess's convergence insufficiency issues.
Well last Saturday Web-princess made her first confession. It was a beautiful morning and thing went as planned. Actually we got a very pleasant surprise. Our beloved Msgr. S. was there to help out. Msgr. S. married DH and I and baptized both kids. He got resigned to other duties a few years ago and we haven't been able to see him.
So it was very nice to be able to see and chat with him Saturday. We tried to get Web-princess to go to Msgr. for her first confession, but she had her heart set on Father B. (Which was fine...but you can't blame me for trying to convince her otherwise right? LOL)
After spending the morning at the Church we went coat shopping. We found some really great winter coats for the kids for $7 each. We bought them at a JCPenny Outlet and bought them LARGE in HOPES the kids will grow into them by NEXT winter.
The JCPenny Outlet here happens to be next to a Burlington Coat Factory. DH insisted we try there first. I have never been in there and was pleasantly surprised about what they had (more then coats) and the prices. Some of it was very reasonable. They had these beautiful white dresses for girls. THINK CINDERELLA!
Seeing them reminded me how Web-princess is going to need a dress! I personally would love for her to look like a little Cinderalla! So I was looking at them and the prices. Several of them were only $30. I know that's still A LOT, but these were just gouragous Cinderella Dresses so that was very cheap! They were white and I knew that they would work wonderfully for Web-princess first communion.
I was asking Web-princess what she thought and if she would like to have one. She told me NO! They were too fancy!! While at penny's she pointed out the type of dress she wanted. It honestly is no different then her summer dresses. We did NOT get it because it was a wild floral print. We told her the dress should be white. She said I know that, I'm just trying to tell you that's TYPE of dress I want!
In the back of my mind I thought, sure you have the chance to have a fancy Cinderella dress and instead of jumping on it you tell me you rather have a plain Jane! Of course there is nothing wrong with a plain Jane....sigh!
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
February 1, 2010
March 17, 2009
Lost!
This blog is about my homeschooling efforts as much as it's about my life as a Catholic-Christian. Part of being a "good" homeshooling mom is teaching the kids about God, faith, trust, hope, grace, etc.
Can I just be honest and say I just don't know anymore! I've felt the distance and disillusion for a while now, and I've just been going through the motions. I know in my "head" what all the answers are, and I've been good to spout out those things for others that are in my state of heart, but seriously there is a difference of knowing something in your head and feeling it in your heart. My heart has felt empty from some time now.
Sometimes, I lay in bed at night question if God is real, mainly because I feel so empty. I wonder in my head and propose things like well if he was real then xyz should happen, almost as if to dare God to prove his existence. Especially seeing my heart feels so empty now. I have read the many conversion stories of the saints and conversion stories of the unknown saints. Can I just say that at times these stories brings me sorrow, because I wonder what makes them so special that God shown himself to them in the way THEY wanted, and I'm left feeling in the dark.
I'll be honest; I know that's it's "bad" for me to think that way. After all I'm sure God has his reasons, after all every child NEEDS things differently at different times. We don't always get what we want, we get what we NEED and at times our wants and needs are the same. See that's the logical side coming in and rationalizing it for me, but in my heart I'm still wondering why, what's so special about them.
In the truth of honesty I haven't been to confession for a good 2 years now, and I thus I haven't received communion in this last year. Perhaps the lack of receiving has caused my heart to feel so empty. I don't know...
I've come close to going, but I haven't gone. Back in January my DS received reconciliation for the first time. It was a family event and the parents were encourage to be there and go AFTER the kids gone. As I blogged about it earlier, I was going to go until I learn there would be treats for the kid. Well honesty, I used the "treats" as an excuse not to go. I also never went the following week, nor have I taken my DS to confession. DH has but I have not.
The next closest time I came to actually doing a confession was this past Sunday. Our parish offers coffee and donuts after the 9:00 am Mass. Fr. B is always good about popping in at coffee and donuts and greeting the people. He's a good priest in that regard.
When he approached the table I was sitting at I thanked him for making my son's day last Saturday. You see my son had his first communion retreat this past Saturday and was making his banner when Fr. B stopped in to say "hi". He told my DS that he like his banner. So I shared with Father how that made my son's day. We went home that day and all my DS could say was how Fr. B liked his priest. (DS put a priest on his banner, I would add that DS was the ONLY one to have a priest on his banner; Is that saying something?)
Father, started to talk about parenting and I made a comment how it's hard because you are reasonable and scary because they (the children) call you on so much, and make sure you follow the "rules".
Father B, looked at and asked, "You do go to confession regularly don't you?" I didn't vocally give my answer, I just hung my head and shocked my head no. Fr. B immediately sat down and preceded to tell me it's not that hard, I don't have to go in the confessional, we could do it in his office, etc. He basically said everything he could, just short of telling me to do a confession right then and there.
I listen to everything he said and with tears in my eyes and I just sorrowfully looked at him and said "I know,I know, I know; I just don't understand what's stopping me, and it's so frustrating, because in a few weeks my son is going to receive and well I want to be able to too." At that very moment my DD (almost 7), who had been off playing, jumped into my lap and said "Mommy!!!" Well DD being there changed the mood. Father said a few words to my DD and then turn to me and said well I have to talk to the other people and left. So close yet so far way!
My just so lost! I know in my head what's missing, it's just getting my heart to follow and take action. I know it's NOT my church! It's ME!! Going somewhere else is not going to "fix" it; I know that....Please pray for me, because I don't know what else to do any more.
Can I just be honest and say I just don't know anymore! I've felt the distance and disillusion for a while now, and I've just been going through the motions. I know in my "head" what all the answers are, and I've been good to spout out those things for others that are in my state of heart, but seriously there is a difference of knowing something in your head and feeling it in your heart. My heart has felt empty from some time now.
Sometimes, I lay in bed at night question if God is real, mainly because I feel so empty. I wonder in my head and propose things like well if he was real then xyz should happen, almost as if to dare God to prove his existence. Especially seeing my heart feels so empty now. I have read the many conversion stories of the saints and conversion stories of the unknown saints. Can I just say that at times these stories brings me sorrow, because I wonder what makes them so special that God shown himself to them in the way THEY wanted, and I'm left feeling in the dark.
I'll be honest; I know that's it's "bad" for me to think that way. After all I'm sure God has his reasons, after all every child NEEDS things differently at different times. We don't always get what we want, we get what we NEED and at times our wants and needs are the same. See that's the logical side coming in and rationalizing it for me, but in my heart I'm still wondering why, what's so special about them.
In the truth of honesty I haven't been to confession for a good 2 years now, and I thus I haven't received communion in this last year. Perhaps the lack of receiving has caused my heart to feel so empty. I don't know...
I've come close to going, but I haven't gone. Back in January my DS received reconciliation for the first time. It was a family event and the parents were encourage to be there and go AFTER the kids gone. As I blogged about it earlier, I was going to go until I learn there would be treats for the kid. Well honesty, I used the "treats" as an excuse not to go. I also never went the following week, nor have I taken my DS to confession. DH has but I have not.
The next closest time I came to actually doing a confession was this past Sunday. Our parish offers coffee and donuts after the 9:00 am Mass. Fr. B is always good about popping in at coffee and donuts and greeting the people. He's a good priest in that regard.
When he approached the table I was sitting at I thanked him for making my son's day last Saturday. You see my son had his first communion retreat this past Saturday and was making his banner when Fr. B stopped in to say "hi". He told my DS that he like his banner. So I shared with Father how that made my son's day. We went home that day and all my DS could say was how Fr. B liked his priest. (DS put a priest on his banner, I would add that DS was the ONLY one to have a priest on his banner; Is that saying something?)
Father, started to talk about parenting and I made a comment how it's hard because you are reasonable and scary because they (the children) call you on so much, and make sure you follow the "rules".
Father B, looked at and asked, "You do go to confession regularly don't you?" I didn't vocally give my answer, I just hung my head and shocked my head no. Fr. B immediately sat down and preceded to tell me it's not that hard, I don't have to go in the confessional, we could do it in his office, etc. He basically said everything he could, just short of telling me to do a confession right then and there.
I listen to everything he said and with tears in my eyes and I just sorrowfully looked at him and said "I know,I know, I know; I just don't understand what's stopping me, and it's so frustrating, because in a few weeks my son is going to receive and well I want to be able to too." At that very moment my DD (almost 7), who had been off playing, jumped into my lap and said "Mommy!!!" Well DD being there changed the mood. Father said a few words to my DD and then turn to me and said well I have to talk to the other people and left. So close yet so far way!
My just so lost! I know in my head what's missing, it's just getting my heart to follow and take action. I know it's NOT my church! It's ME!! Going somewhere else is not going to "fix" it; I know that....Please pray for me, because I don't know what else to do any more.
January 31, 2009
Confession!
Well today was the BIG day for my DS! He received for the very first time the sacrament of reconciliation. He couldn't wait for this day! This morning before we left he was doing the "chicka chicka boom boom dance". (I'm not sure how else to describe what he was doing LOL)
When we asked him how he felt about going he said "I'm nervous, but I'm also EXCITED" He truly was grinning ear to ear. So we left this morning, arrived at the church shortly before 9:00 am. We walked in and sat down in the church. Shortly after 9:00 our rector started with a Gospel reading (the prodigal son). After the Gospel reading he did a short homily (sermon) and then explain to everyone that he would be in his confessional and one of our associate pastors would be in his confessional.
The rector then went on to explain that the children were to go first and then when the children were done the parents and/or older siblings were free to go confession. He also said that afterward we were invited to go to our fellowship hall area for coffee, tea, hot coca, donuts and fruit.
So we asked DS who he wanted to go to and he choose our associate pastor and thus got into line. After leaving the confessional he did his penance and then I took him and my DD to fellowship hall for donuts, fruit, and hot cocoa. DH stayed behind and when to the confession himself. The original plan was that I would go to, but we didn't know that there would be treats and the kids just wanted to go.
While eating our treats my DS asked "Mama, why didn't you go?" I told him because I felt that I needed to be mommy and keep and eye on you and be with you while you are here (in fellowship hall). My kids are good kids and I really do trust them, but I also know that it was best to keep an eye on them. I then shared with my DS that I would be going next Saturday and he right away perked up and said "would you take me?". I said sure if he wanted to go I would take him. He just beamed ear to ear and said "thank-you mama".
After a few moments DH joined us in Fellowship Hall and said that he asked Father how DS did. He said to Father I know that you can't tell me what DS said but I'm just curious on "how" he did. Father told DH that DS was very confident. Confident!!! Wow!! I then asked DS if he went face to face or behind the curtain. DS said "behind the curtain"; then I turn to DH and ask "Well then how does he know that it was our DS". DH just said, "Father knows"
I was taken back by that...yikes!!! Reflecting on it; it's NOT a bad thing. It just shocked me that's all, especially seeing this was DS first time and I can't imagine that DS told him his name, nor am I going to pry into what DS said, because truly it's none of my business. I just was shocked that Father would know MY kid by voice..... Wow, is all I can say. We finally left the church around 11:00 am. We easily spent at least half of our time eating and chatting with others.
It was a good morning. Now DS is just steps closer to receiving his first Communion. That will take place in April.
When we asked him how he felt about going he said "I'm nervous, but I'm also EXCITED" He truly was grinning ear to ear. So we left this morning, arrived at the church shortly before 9:00 am. We walked in and sat down in the church. Shortly after 9:00 our rector started with a Gospel reading (the prodigal son). After the Gospel reading he did a short homily (sermon) and then explain to everyone that he would be in his confessional and one of our associate pastors would be in his confessional.
The rector then went on to explain that the children were to go first and then when the children were done the parents and/or older siblings were free to go confession. He also said that afterward we were invited to go to our fellowship hall area for coffee, tea, hot coca, donuts and fruit.
So we asked DS who he wanted to go to and he choose our associate pastor and thus got into line. After leaving the confessional he did his penance and then I took him and my DD to fellowship hall for donuts, fruit, and hot cocoa. DH stayed behind and when to the confession himself. The original plan was that I would go to, but we didn't know that there would be treats and the kids just wanted to go.
While eating our treats my DS asked "Mama, why didn't you go?" I told him because I felt that I needed to be mommy and keep and eye on you and be with you while you are here (in fellowship hall). My kids are good kids and I really do trust them, but I also know that it was best to keep an eye on them. I then shared with my DS that I would be going next Saturday and he right away perked up and said "would you take me?". I said sure if he wanted to go I would take him. He just beamed ear to ear and said "thank-you mama".
After a few moments DH joined us in Fellowship Hall and said that he asked Father how DS did. He said to Father I know that you can't tell me what DS said but I'm just curious on "how" he did. Father told DH that DS was very confident. Confident!!! Wow!! I then asked DS if he went face to face or behind the curtain. DS said "behind the curtain"; then I turn to DH and ask "Well then how does he know that it was our DS". DH just said, "Father knows"
I was taken back by that...yikes!!! Reflecting on it; it's NOT a bad thing. It just shocked me that's all, especially seeing this was DS first time and I can't imagine that DS told him his name, nor am I going to pry into what DS said, because truly it's none of my business. I just was shocked that Father would know MY kid by voice..... Wow, is all I can say. We finally left the church around 11:00 am. We easily spent at least half of our time eating and chatting with others.
It was a good morning. Now DS is just steps closer to receiving his first Communion. That will take place in April.
January 26, 2009
This Saturday!
This Saturday my DS will walk into the confessional at our church to receive for the very first time reconciliation. He of course is a little nervous, but at the same time he can't WAIT!!! He has been counting down the days and today announce with joy, the same joy a child would get when it's days before their Birthday and/or days before Christmas, "Mama ONLY 5 more days"!!!
To be honest I never in a million years would think a child would be so happy about this day coming; It does me good to see that he is so happy about it! I'm on the other hand think I'm more nervous about it all then him. Our church has set aside a special time for this to happen not only that, but the parents and/or older siblings are encouraged to receive the sacrament as well. So really it's a "family" reconciliation time, with special care for those that will be receiving for the very first time and for those that may not have gone for ages!!
I'm still at times in shocked that my DS is old enough for all of this!! At times it seem as only if yesterday he was in Kindergarten. Oh my how the time goes by...
After this Saturday there will be a week or 2 off then after that they will start up the Communion Classes. My DS is set to receive First Communion on April 4th. At this time I don't know if he will actually receive communion or not. I'm leaving that up to him. He'll have to go to the classes, but when the time comes he will have to decided if this is what he wants. He, on his own, has decided to go ahead and receive reconciliation. He'll make that decision when it comes to first communion as well.
I still can't believe it's that time!!!! Wow!!!
To be honest I never in a million years would think a child would be so happy about this day coming; It does me good to see that he is so happy about it! I'm on the other hand think I'm more nervous about it all then him. Our church has set aside a special time for this to happen not only that, but the parents and/or older siblings are encouraged to receive the sacrament as well. So really it's a "family" reconciliation time, with special care for those that will be receiving for the very first time and for those that may not have gone for ages!!
I'm still at times in shocked that my DS is old enough for all of this!! At times it seem as only if yesterday he was in Kindergarten. Oh my how the time goes by...
After this Saturday there will be a week or 2 off then after that they will start up the Communion Classes. My DS is set to receive First Communion on April 4th. At this time I don't know if he will actually receive communion or not. I'm leaving that up to him. He'll have to go to the classes, but when the time comes he will have to decided if this is what he wants. He, on his own, has decided to go ahead and receive reconciliation. He'll make that decision when it comes to first communion as well.
I still can't believe it's that time!!!! Wow!!!
January 9, 2009
Wow! What A Moment!
Sometimes I'm amazed by what my kids do that I can't help but share.
DD (6) was playing PS2 with DH today. (He was home from work). While playing DD got a little bossy towards DH telling him what to do, how to play, etc. DS was in the room to and he made a comment on how DD being bossy was/is rude. So I immediately pulled DS (7) to the side, in the other room, and had a talk with him.
You see DS gets bossy with DD when he plays with her. So asked him why does he care what DD is saying to DH. He responded because it's rude to be that way, and it's annoying listening to that. I then shared with him that is how he sound when he plays with his sister.
DS right away became sad, his shoulders sunk, and he hung himself on me. So I wrapped my arms around him, scooped him up as best as I could, and just held him. After several moments I asked him why he was so sad. He responded with I should tell sis that I'm sorry. I asked for what and he said for being bossy while they play PS2 together.
So we went and told DD that he was sorry. After he said sorry, I had a talk with DS about not only saying it but showing it. He agreed that he has to try to show it and not just say it. WOW! He's only 7!
DD (6) was playing PS2 with DH today. (He was home from work). While playing DD got a little bossy towards DH telling him what to do, how to play, etc. DS was in the room to and he made a comment on how DD being bossy was/is rude. So I immediately pulled DS (7) to the side, in the other room, and had a talk with him.
You see DS gets bossy with DD when he plays with her. So asked him why does he care what DD is saying to DH. He responded because it's rude to be that way, and it's annoying listening to that. I then shared with him that is how he sound when he plays with his sister.
DS right away became sad, his shoulders sunk, and he hung himself on me. So I wrapped my arms around him, scooped him up as best as I could, and just held him. After several moments I asked him why he was so sad. He responded with I should tell sis that I'm sorry. I asked for what and he said for being bossy while they play PS2 together.
So we went and told DD that he was sorry. After he said sorry, I had a talk with DS about not only saying it but showing it. He agreed that he has to try to show it and not just say it. WOW! He's only 7!
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